October 26, 2011
Satisfaction
The depth of my unsatisfied heart is so very deep. To whom or to what will I run? Being busy? Food? Friends? Ministry? So huge this hunger, this insatiable hunger so it seems. This hunger drives us all. It drives me. Pride keeps people from admitting this. Pride has kept me from admitting this. What are we hungry for? What are we thirsty for? What am I hungry for? What am I thirsty for? I will finally admit to it now. I am hungry. I am thirsty. I am hungry for someone to make sense of this world. I am hungry to be completely applauded, celebrated, and accepted for who I am. I am hungry to be completely understood in my thoughts and emotions. I am hungry to be completely united with another. I desperately am hungry for someone or something to fill in the deep lonely places of my heart. Except it is a place so deep that no other human or thing can touch it. But I keep trying. I keep forgetting where I can find the empty spots to be filled.
How stupid my mind must be.
I will go now to the only "place" that I have found. I will go to the “place” of worship. I will open my heart, my spirit to a song. I will let this song wash over my stupid mind. The perfect song is the Song, the melody of my heart. It is Jesus. Only when I open myself to the Song that is living in me, do I find any satisfaction. It is my beautiful sweet sweet Song living in me. He washes over me. He sings over me. Very deep in the lonely empty spots the Spirit of God unites with my spirit. He fills me up. It is where I am satisfied. No other place. No other person.
Dear Jesus, You are beautiful my sweet sweet Song. So beautiful. You satisfy me.
Psalms 73:23-25 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
